Eternally Devoted (Frostbite #4) Read online

  The tightness, sounding rich with despair I understood, all too well. “Well, you deserve to be thanked, too.” I gave him a final squeeze, and then I leaned away and spotted appreciation in his eyes. “So, we’re even.”

  He smiled softly. “I guess we are.”

  I backed out of his hold and watched him follow Alexander and Gretchen. Life could be so strange—days ago, I wanted to butcher Dane and now I thanked him. Sometimes, most of the time, I loved when life surprised me.

  A crunch against the gravel jerked my head to the side, and I turned to find Amelia, who presently appeared wrenched in guilt. After what she’d put us through, I never thought I’d do what I was about to, but I never thought I’d hug Dane either.

  Without thought, I found myself walking toward her and my arms moved on their own accord, until I yanked her into a hug. “Don’t feel guilty.” I pushed her away from me, holding her shoulders tight and staring into her teary, ashamed eyes. “If I could’ve used you to get Kipp back, I would have, without a second hesitation.” I stared into her eyes dead-on. “Do you understand what I’m telling you?”

  She sniffed and held my gaze, a little more determined than weak. “I do.”

  “Good.” I sighed, releasing my firm hold on her arms.

  The last thing I needed was for Dane’s wife to suffer some horrible depression because she thought she was the spawn of Satan. Dane had helped me, even if it took me a while to realize it, and I owed him for that.

  If it meant I had to ease his wife’s guilt, then so be it. Even if a small part of me wanted to still break her nose for putting this worry about Kipp in my mind, and the unknown if I had saved him, Dane’s assistance couldn’t be forgotten. “Besides, you knocking me out is what sent me into the Netherworld, and might have saved Kipp.”

  “You are not going to thank her,” Zach practically growled.

  “Well…” Even I saw the insanity in it all, but what wasn’t insane in my life? “Yes, I am. Thank you.”

  Amelia gave a small smile, yet said nothing. I could understand that, too. I suspected she didn’t want to be thanked. Just as I sympathized with her motives to help her father, I thanked her for my own well-being.

  How odd to thank the very people who, when I first arrived at the Animus, I thought were out to get me? But there it was, deep down, I did feel grateful. And that made me strangely content.

  No matter what I continued to go through, I was still me.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Without another word to me, Amelia strode after the others toward the swamp, until she faded into the dark night. I didn’t glance at Zach, since I suspected I’d get a grumpy look from him, considering his deep breaths sounded edged with frustration.

  Nor did I bother with Eddie, who I assumed would be equally as annoyed at me for being so kind to Amelia. I simply hurried after her into the darkness that, for the first time, I didn’t fear something scary within it awaited me.

  As I drew closer to the swamp, I heard Gretchen say something I couldn’t make out, and then I squinted to peer through the black night. Only a few seconds passed before I spotted Gretchen lighting a candle. That’s when I noticed she had placed enough candles to form a circle.

  After she lit each one, she took out a few sticks of incense out of her bag, and once she had them burning, the scent of sage was filling the air around me. Then she grabbed a wooden bowl and a wooden spoon, adding water from the swamp and a dash of salt into it.

  Luckily, the swamp was far enough from the house, I didn’t think any of the cops would take notice to what we were doing or see the candles. And the other cops outside were on the far side of the large yard, scoping out the edge of the forest.

  I turned to Gretchen again and watched her work, thinking she was insane for calling this spell not complicated, when to me, all it looked like was complicated. She stirred the water and closed her eyes, and then she murmured soft words I didn’t care to hear. But, from reading the spell, I knew that she imagined a bright light surrounding her.

  The swamp lay still, and the bullfrog who had first greeted me when I’d first come here was silent. No breeze swept through the yard and the quiet—which once frightened me—was entirely welcomed.

  A rustle along the grass grabbed my attention. When I looked at Gretchen again, she stood with sad eyes. “It’s time.”

  Alexander nodded slowly, and misery that I’d never seen cross Caley’s face flashed there for only a second before he controlled it. His gaze swept to his daughter and he smiled at her, then he looked to Dane. “Keep the members together. Be a safe haven for those who need us.”

  Dane inclined his head, tears welling in his eyes. “Of course.” He stepped forward and hugged his father-in-law.

  It looked slightly ridiculous to see Dane embrace Caley in such a loving away, but I didn’t get long to consider that oddity since Alexander returned to his daughter. Things got very dismal.

  With his arms around her, while she cried, he whispered something in her ear that I couldn’t hear, but her sobbing gave away he said goodbye to her. When he leaned away from Amelia, tears trailed over Caley’s face.

  Alexander released his arms around Amelia and her legs gave out. Before she could fall to the grass below, Dane hugged his wife. My eyes burned with tears, and I shut them as a lump formed in my throat. This hurt to witness. Seconds passed before the feeling of being watched forced my eyes open. I discovered Alexander standing in front of me.

  He smiled warmly, taking my hands. Even his touch didn’t feel like Caley’s, more gentle and just…different. “Thank you for all you’ve done for me.” He squeezed his fingers around mine. “You are a special woman, Tess. I hope everything works out for you and Kipp.”

  Funny enough that before, I might have snorted to myself how special kind of sounded like crazy. But hell, my gifts did make me special. Perhaps now, after all I’d been through, I felt a bit better about my abilities and myself.

  Wayde had used his gifts in terrible ways and did terrible things to others, but I fought for the greater good. That made me feel good about me.

  It did strike me that if I had met Alexander when he was alive, I would’ve liked him…a lot. As much as we’d gone through together, I didn’t really know much about him. But I’d learned enough to see the world had lost a great man. I squeezed his hands in return. “Cross in peace, Alexander.”

  His smile softened even further, and then, as he released my hands, he turned to Gretchen. Seeing her crying made me want to run to her. This was the first time Gretchen had ever showed outright sadness. Perhaps she’d been trying to be strong for Alexander…and maybe for me, too. When Alexander hugged her, she sank so deep into his hold and I heard her whimper.

  A hand wrapped around mine, and I glanced up to find Zach, not looking at me, but at Gretchen. Maybe he knew how much it hurt for me to see her like this…and perhaps he hated seeing Gretchen so upset, too. I wrapped my hand tight with Zach’s as tears rushed down my cheeks.

  Now, I finally got it.

  It became all too clear why Gretchen had walked away from being a more active member of the Animus, exactly as I wanted to stay well away from the organization, too.

  This.

  Now.

  Gretchen became too emotionally attached and it showed in the misery along her expression. The dark depths in her eyes told me how many moments—just like this one—she’d witnessed. And how every moment she’d ever experienced had haunted her.

  To understand why Gretchen had wanted out of the mystical world brought a sense of gratefulness to her that I doubted I’d feel if I hadn’t witnessed this moment. She helped me, when deep down she probably didn’t want to, and that made me appreciate her friendship more than I could possibly put into words.

  Alexander finally leaned away from Gretchen. “I always told you, magic would never leave you, and you couldn’t stay away forever.” He smiled. “You’ve done so well, Gretchen.”

  More tears now flooded her fa
ce, and she whispered, “Thank you.”

  He lowered his hands from Gretchen’s face and with his stare fixated on Amelia, he backed up until he stood in the center of the circle. Loud sobs came from Amelia, and I could see Dane fighting back his own grief.

  Lord, it seemed like even Earth mourned, everything was so eerily silent. I sensed Max and Eddie as they stood in behind me. Zach’s hand continued to squeeze mine so tight. But no one moved. No crickets sang. No wind rustled. The world, for these few seconds, seemed to stop.

  Gretchen wiped at her face, drew in a deep breath, and straightened her shoulders. She stepped closer to the outside of the circle, and without pause, chanted, “Angels of Protection. Angels who clear. Remove all spirits who don't belong here.”

  On the second chant, Alexander smiled as he scanned over each face. “Don’t worry for me, where I’m going…” He glanced up at the starry sky before he looked to us again with no sadness etched into his features, only acceptance. “I’ll be just fine.”

  As Gretchen said the chant for the final time, the same bright light that had enveloped Caley when Alexander entered her body once again erupted. I shielded my eyes, looking down at the waving flame of the candle in the wind, knowing only I saw the light.

  Then, with a roar of wind blowing out all the candles, I caught the scent of the burnt wick rushing through the air, and then I heard a loud thump. I immediately glanced up and released Zach’s hand at the same time. I squinted and peered through the dark night, when I spotted Caley in the center of the circle, motionless.

  “Oh, god.” I ran forward with Zach right next to me. I dropped to my knees at the edge of the circle and I jerked my head toward Gretchen, who had lit a few of the candles again for light. “Can I touch her?”

  Gretchen gathered the bowl and took it over to the swamp where she dumped the water in. She murmured a few words, which I took to be thanks for her magic, and then she turned to me and nodded. “The spell is now closed. Go ahead.”

  I crawled into the circle and practically jumped on top of Caley, shaking her violently. “Caley, wake up. God, please wake up.”

  One shake…two…three…four…five…

  My screams at her morphed with Zach’s as he now mirrored the hard shakes on Caley’s body.

  When I finally resorted to rolling her from side-to-side, her body slid over the grass that would no doubt leave her clothes grass stained, and finally, a low groan stopped me mid-turn. “I’m going to barf if you keep doing that.”

  I exhaled loudly as Caley settled onto her back. Her arms sprawled alongside her, while Zach’s hands were now tight on her legs. After a few more groans from her and the realization she wasn’t about to vomit, I asked, “You okay?”

  She opened her eyes, her baby blues sharp with her glare. “Oh yes, I’ve just been possessed. Don’t you know, I’m fucking fabulous!”

  Before I had a chance to answer her or feel guilty, Zach had her in his arms, gripping her so tight. I witnessed the effect it had on Caley. Her harsh expression melted away, telling me she had been far more afraid than pissed. Well, for now, until she learned how long I had allowed Alexander to stay in her body.

  At the loud relieved breath behind me, I glanced over my shoulder and noticed the solace on Eddie’s and Max’s faces. Then, I looked to Amelia, who remained in Dane’s arms, but appeared to have mastered the art of shielding emotions, too.

  She seemed to be holding it together, and considering what she’d been through, I thought she deserved to crumble. Perhaps, though, as I’d done so many times, she waited for privacy to allow her world to fall apart.

  Gretchen smiled softly at me, then she looked to my right, and when I followed her gaze, Zach was finally leaning away from Caley. He lowered her to the ground, staring at her with a look of love I’ve seen come from Zach in regards to Caley, many times. “Are you all right?” he asked her.

  Caley gave a slow nod, rubbing her forehead. “I feel like I have a wicked hangover, but other than that, yeah, I’m good.”

  “After a night’s rest, you’ll feel better,” Gretchen said.

  Caley’s mouth parted to respond when Max’s cell phone rang, cutting through the dark night and causing me to startle. Caley laughed, staring at me incredulously. “Shouldn’t I be the jumpy one?”

  I chuckled, grasping my chest to keep my heart from exploding out of my chest. “You’re right—you totally deserve to be on edge.” I took her hand, resting on her stomach, and smiled. “Thank you, Caley, for doing what you did.”

  “You still owe me.” Her eyes narrowed. “Like, for the rest of your life.” She sat up and looked over my shoulder to Dane and Amelia. “So, did it work? Is the ghost gone?”

  After how emotional Alexander’s crossing had been, it seemed wrong how cold she’d asked the question, but I understood. Caley had no idea what happened. In all truth, I had no idea how to tell her how long Alexander had been in her body. Instead of revving her up now, since she did look exhausted, I simply nodded. “Yeah, he’s gone.”

  Her eyebrows rose. “And Kipp? What of him?”

  “Well…” I looked to Max and his eyes were trained on me while the phone was pressed to his ear. He gave me a little smile. Even I got that. At least, one part of this was finished. Sure, there was a lot more going on, but one step was officially checked off.

  Caley returned in one piece, too.

  Max ended the call and finally looked away from me, saying something to Eddie. Then he approached Zach, who stood now, and peered down at Caley.

  I assumed they were talking police business, maybe about Wayde’s whereabouts. Which, at the moment, I didn’t care at all about, so I focused on Caley. “There’s a lot to tell you—”

  A sudden coldness washed over my skin, clamping my mouth shut, and my heart leapt up into my throat. A ghost was approaching, that I knew without a doubt. The goose bumps trailing over my skin sent shivers down my spine. I jumped to my feet, scanning the area.

  “Um, hello, tell me then,” Caley snipped.

  I raised my hand, silencing her, and I turned to the swamp. “Wait.” I zeroed in onto the right side, near the tall plants. I wasn’t sure how I knew a ghost approached from that direction, but I just knew.

  A firm hand wrapped around my arm and I glanced sideways, finding Max’s hard look. “What is it?”

  “Ghost,” I breathed.

  Part of me was elated at the thought that maybe Kipp came back to me, but the other part of me would be utterly heartbroken if he showed up now. I continued to scan the area, until suddenly, a ghost stepped out from the plants on the far left of the swamp.

  My breath became trapped in my throat and I squinted, sure I couldn’t be seeing things right.

  Even after a few moments, the ghost in front of me remained. I turned to Max, who continued to stare at me with a frown. “You can call off the search for Wayde.”

  “Why?”

  “Because his ghost is standing right next to you.”

  Chapter Sixteen

  Bodies scattered and jumped to the side and away from me as a loud collective gasp filled the air. Max’s head whipped to the side so fast, I almost chuckled, even if, obviously, he wouldn’t see Wayde anyway. Then his wide eyes returned to me as he asked slowly, “Wayde’s a ghost?”

  I nodded, keeping my focus on Wayde as he glanced around at the others. The shock of his arrival honest-to-god left me stumped and I couldn’t withhold the snappiness to my voice. “What in the hell happened to you?”

  Wayde turned to me and his eyes didn’t look like the ones I’d seen before—they weren’t dark and miserable, but were confused and afraid. “I-I-I…don’t know.” He lowered his head toward the grass beneath his feet, even if his feet weren’t touching the ground.

  Only a second passed before he looked at me again. “Why can you see me?”

  A sudden truth hit me tenfold—something I hadn’t seen much of lately because of Kipp and Alexander—but Wayde acted like every other normal ghos
t. He didn’t remember me, which told me he didn’t die that long ago. He hadn’t had the chance to reconcile why he was a ghost.

  With that, I gave him the nudge I always did with ghosts, so he would figure out what he needed to do to cross over. “It’s my gift. Why are you a ghost?”

  Wayde hesitated. “I…” His eyes slowly widened. “Killed myself.”

  “You killed yourself?” I repeated more for the benefit of the others than for myself, even if I was equally as shocked.

  “Christ,” Zach exhaled.

  I glanced over my shoulder at him and noticed the plants by the swamp moved more than the bodies around me, and there wasn’t a breeze in the air. Everyone stared at me, completely blank-faced and statue-still.

  Now, though, a memory returned with force, as if all the pieces of the puzzle came together where everything made sense. The gunshot we’d heard earlier tonight—the one that had me eating dirt, and that Zach brushed off as a hunter—could it have been Wayde? Maybe Wayde had been watching us, seen the police, and knew the end of the road had arrived.

  Knowing only Wayde would hold the answers to those questions I turned to him. “Why did you kill yourself?”

  His dark eyes swept with a despair I didn’t believe Wayde could produce. “I’ve killed people.”

  While I already knew that, I also believed Wayde needed to shed his soul from it to cross over, and I sure-as-shit wanted him gone. Perhaps it surprised me that he didn’t recognize me yet, or acknowledge his past plan of hoping I’d become trapped in the Netherworld.

  I fully believed that Wayde would’ve killed me, if he’d been given the chance. But with Dane’s assistance—even if I hadn’t known it—and by the time I arrived in White Castle, too many people were involved for him to act on such desires. “Can you tell me why you’ve killed?”

  Wayde took a step toward me. It took everything in me not to retreat from his advance. Even though he could do nothing to me now, he had wanted me removed from Earth to keep his secret exactly that…a secret. Having him this close to me wasn’t comforting.