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Kyler’s eyes flared, but his voice remained gentle. “I want to hear all of that because it’s your life, Ella. It’s what has happened to you.”
“No, you don’t want to hear about all that,” she yelled her retort. “You don’t want to know how much I’ve cried. How long I’ve felt alone. How broken I was and how hard it used to be just to wake up every morning.” Tears rushed down her cheeks as she shook her head. “Because when you do, you’ll change even more.” Things between us will be worse than they are.
He seemed surprised, straightening in his seat. “How have I changed?”
Good. Surprised is at least showing something. “You refuse to touch me like you would other submissives. You treat me differently. Don’t deny it, I know you do. You see me as broken.”
Slowly, he rose from the chair, careful not to get too close. “It’s not because I don’t want to play with you like I have others, Ella. But I can’t ignore what you’ve been through.”
“Stop thinking about my past.” She glared, feeling all her pent-up frustration escaping her. “Stop treating me like I’m breakable. Stop treating me like I’m this helpless woman who can’t stand on her own two feet.”
“Ella,” he said in a low warning.
“What?” she snapped, loving that he shook slightly. Yes, she wanted him to express more than a stony look. “My past doesn’t concern me. It shouldn’t for you, either. Stop restraining yourself. I know you won’t hurt me. And I see what others do in the club. I know how you treated me that first night before you learned about Rory. With passion. Without regret. With pure desire.” She thrust her fingers into her hair and yanked. “I’m. Not. Fucking. Breakable.”
He took a step forward, his eyes blazing. “I never said you were, but I need you to be honest and open with me.” His expression darkened—cautious, but hinting at something much more passionate. Something that wasn’t controlled or worried about past abuse.
Something that screamed of possessive desire.
“I am being honest. I’m just not talking about shit that doesn’t matter. Stop walking on eggshells around me.” She heard the huskiness in her voice in response to his dominance. “I don’t need you to go around fixing everything. Okay, I’m grateful you got Rory to sign the documents, but that’s not what is important. I want you, Kyler. All of you. The real fucking you who doesn’t stare at me like I’m wounded.” She vibrated at his corded neck and at the flexing of his forearms. “If you can’t give me that, this will never work.”
He took another step, coming a bit closer. Something so very dominant crossed his features, tightening his expression and changing the color in his eyes to a darker blue. The air between them became electricity charged. “What won’t work?”
“Us,” she shouted.
His eyes slowly narrowed. “Once, I will allow you to say that this won’t work between us. Only once.”
Her lips parted to respond, but he erased the distance, tugging her tight against the hard planes of his body. He dragged his fingers into her hair, then closed his fists in their strands. His eyes spoke of a yearning that went past sensual heat; they shone with the desire to own.
His voice was low, not controlled. “Here, in my hold, things are right. This is your home. No matter what is going on between us, when you are under my touch, you never doubt us.”
He tugged on her hair, slicing a fierce burn into her. She craved this. Desired him. Ached for him.
He added with a growly voice, “Here, you are safe. Here, nothing else matters.”
But is here honest and real? her heart whispered.
Or was it an illusion of two people that held an incredible passion in the arms of each other, yet couldn’t find that perfect place to stand on to make a relationship out of it?
She needed him to stop living in her past.
He seemed permanently focused there.
Kyler drew in a sharp breath, then leaned down toward her, nose to nose. “No matter if we have things to work out or what we go through, you need to be strong in knowing that this is meant to be.”
Why can’t I agree?
In so many ways they were good together, but in other ways they were so wrong. He enjoyed adding pain to pleasure. He was a Dominant, desperate to control a woman. Hell, she wanted to experience all of that without restraints of concern. She ached to feel the leather of his flogger and the sharp bite of his palm.
She stared up at him, pinned in his arms. “But how can this work if you can’t let go of what happened with Rory? If you’re always thinking you need to fix a problem in my past? If you can’t see me for what I want? If you can’t see past all the pain?”
Kyler dropped his chin, his eyes in direct line with hers as he walked her backward. When her back met the wall, he stated, “Sweetheart, baiting a Dom is not suggested. I told you I would only hear that from your mouth once.” Then he crushed his lips on hers.
It was a hard, passionate kiss that spoke of anger and lust. And she melted. She followed his mouth, relishing in his lack of restraint. No hesitation. No worry. Just a man kissing a woman in a way that proved he owned her—that she belonged only to him, always to him.
He nipped at her mouth. “Mine, Ella.”
She gasped, pulled by the pain on her lip as he bit harder. Her body flared in acceptance, pooling heat into her loins. Moisture coated her lower lips in an instant want for him to claim her.
“Mine,” he growled, snaking his hands into her housecoat and opening it before he lowered it off her shoulders. He nudged her head to the side, nipping at her neck. Then he backed away, removing his shirt in that fast way men did, and his mouth was right back on her.
He pinned her to the wall as their openmouthed kisses only became hotter as tongues clashed together with his growl of dominance. He left her no room to move, no choice but to accept his bites.
She reached for his belt and had his jeans open a second later, sending them pooling at his feet. With rough touches she had yearned for, he grabbed her thigh, looking to her. Reckless, passionate eyes stared back at her, sending a hot shiver through her.
His gaze burned as he slid his hand over her bottom. His mouth sealed over hers in a kiss that she couldn’t run from. A kiss that measured up to no other. One that had said Kyler had been holding back. Now he’d been pushed too far. His touch wasn’t careful. It was messy, forceful, demanding.
She soared under his erotic assault.
Bringing her bottom lip between his teeth, he gave a fierce bite. Then his hard gaze lifted to hers and he growled, “Say it, and by God, mean it.”
Under his force, his stare, his unleashed power, she accepted what he had said—this was right, no matter the issues between them. Now he owned her. Possessed her. Cared for her. She belonged to him. And even if this lasted for only this moment, she knew she’d forever search to have him looking at her this way again.
“I’m yours, Kyler,” she rasped.
His eyes blazed with his dark grin. “You’re damn right you are.”
Hot and hard, Kyler gripped Ella’s hair, pinning her where he wanted her. He hooked her leg onto his arm and his hands bracketed her ass; her petite body pressed tight against his. Threatened. Last night, his woman had been afraid. And she fucking tried to do what she did all the time when she confronted hard times, push him away. He might be considerate of a lot, but that was one thing he would never allow. She could be mad. She could be fearful and fighting against what he needed from her, but those words to him sent his world crashing around him.
He could not endure a life without Ella.
All his dominance, his possessiveness, and his desire unleashed in a way he could not control. It was one thing to worry of the future and to struggle as they found their way. It was another thing to tell him that the woman he found to love was having thoughts of walking away from him.
Sliding his nose across her warm neck, he inhaled her sweet scent. She remained still under his touch. She acted like a woman unsure of her
steps, and submissive, like a woman craving to let go.
“All mine, Ella.” He licked up her sweaty flesh on her neck, enjoying the salty taste. “Your skin is mine to touch.” He inhaled by her ear, nipping at the lobe. “Your scent is mine to drawn in. Your body is mine to enjoy.”
“Yes.” She gasped. “Yours.”
He bit into the skin on her neck, keeping her motionless beneath him. Lust and dominance had him shifting his hips and sliding his cock into her slick heat, soaked with arousal. Consumed by the masculine need of having his woman threatened, he thrust into her, pumping his hips fast and hard. Loud gasps echoed from her mouth as she arched into each eager stroke.
He didn’t hold back, as he wasn’t capable of restraining all the emotion that had been battling inside him. Every stroke banged his pelvis against her clit. Each hard thrust took her higher. Her soaked cunt squeezed at his cock with his ruthless strokes. Her hooded eyes held his, so dark in desire. Submission brushed across her features as she remained still, taking all of him inside her.
Accepting all he gave her.
“You are mine to protect when you’re in need,” he growled, grasping her damp hair tight in his fist. “Mine to make sure you never feel alone again. Mine to care for when I know you need to be loved.” Pleasure swept across him, increasing the speed of his thrusts. “Mine to pleasure when I want.”
“Yes,” she screamed, pulling against his touch attempting to angle her head.
He gripped the strands of her hair, not being careful. This lesson would not be given with words. He forced her where he wanted her, looking him right in the eye. Always looking at him. “You will watch me take what is mine, Ella.”
Pumping his hips, heat burned up his spine, drawing his climax, increasing the force of his thrusts. Faster. Deeper. He stared down into her pretty face as she accepted his dominance. His muscles ached, holding her in position, sweat coating his flesh as skin slapped against skin. The sucking sounds of their lovemaking rang out in his ears as her hot cunt saturated his shaft.
Her soft breasts pressed against him, her puckered nipples scraping over his skin. His cock ached, throbbing with each squeeze of her inner walls. He craved to blow inside her, leave his seed right there in her for her body to know that she belonged to him.
As her eyes widened and her inner muscles convulsed with the rise of her climax, his balls drew up. Heat and tingles rushed down his spine, and his muscles flexed as the power of his release overtook him.
Then his world broke apart, as did hers.
With a roar, they came together, in a pure release of pent-up emotion they’d been drowning in. Sweat and the scent of sex was all that remained, as was the understanding that in they had each other.
He bucked and jerked as his cum shot deep inside her. Each pulse pulled at something in his soul. This woman was his all. He quivered as his body drained of energy, and he fought against the loss of strength.
As she trembled, whimpering in his arms, he rested his forehead against hers, breathing heavily. “Doubt will break us.” He forced himself to look at her, finding tears in her eyes. Not of sadness, but soft, happy eyes. He cupped her cheeks, bringing his mouth close to hers. “Don’t allow anything to break us.”
A single tear slid down her cheek. “Not being ourselves will break us, too. I don’t want you to see me as broken, Kyler. I need you to let go of my past. I’ve moved on, and I want you to as well.”
He sighed, unhooking her leg from his arm. He left her pinned to the wall, unable to break free from her. He needed her close. Always in his arms. “I’m trying to find a way through all this. But I simply cannot forget what has happened to you. Please don’t ask me to turn a blind eye to something this important.”
Christ, he saw the imprint of this moment on her. The utter release she experienced; there was no pain in her eyes, no worry, no fear, only a free mind that had dropped into a state of bliss.
“Just be like this with me.” She leaned in to him and held his stare, gazing at him with adoring eyes he had craved for so long. “Always like this. I want this side of you. I want to be touched by you this way. I want to live in the present.”
As she said it, he didn’t know if he had it in him. He’d flogged many submissives. Hell, he’d used pain to bring pleasure many times. But even now, the second the thought entered his mind, all he saw was Rory.
All he saw was her scar running down the side of her face.
Today he’d been threatened, pushed to extremes. Now that the intensity had faded, his touch turned soft. Gentle. When he dragged his finger down her arm, she frowned.
He ignored her.
None of this was that simple. He couldn’t forget. “I have said no to impact play, and that is a final answer. It will come in time, Ella. We will get there. Believe in that.”
The argument shone on her expression, but he quickly sealed his mouth over hers. She melted beneath his touch, following his movements as if her lips were a mold made perfectly for him.
A kiss that so simply held none of the complications between them.
When he broke away, he murmured against her mouth, “I know what you want. You know what I want. We will find an even ground on this, and there is no reason to rush anything. I’m just saying, please wait and let us figure this out. Give me that time. Don’t argue with me about this.”
For now, she didn’t.
Chapter Twenty-two
Four days had passed in a quick blur since the night with Rory, and Ella hadn’t heard a peep from him, either. She’d mailed the divorce documents to Derek in Savannah, and soon things would be finally over.
Though with the relief that brought, her mood hadn’t much improved. Things with Kyler had never been better—relationship-wise. Almost as if she’d settled perfectly into his life and he into hers. But that dark cloud remained over them: What would happen in Club Sin tomorrow night?
Would he be the Dom she craved?
Or would he look to her as broken?
While she was tempted to let him decide the path they should take, she had enough of waiting around and hoping for big life changes. Her challenge brought her to Vegas and gave her so many wonderful things, but she was tired of not taking control and making things happen for herself.
She had allowed fate to control her world.
Now she’d show fate that she held the wheel.
Sitting in Kenzie’s small and cozy apartment above her used bookstore, Ella glanced over to the women she’d become so close to … so fast. Women she couldn’t imagine not having in her life. No one had discussed her abuse after the night with Rory, which made her realize how nice it was not to be judged.
They cared for her, regardless of what she went through.
There was something special in that.
As she topped off the four wineglasses for herself, Presley, Cora, and Kenzie, she thought over the situation with Kyler. The saying “Don’t poke the bear” meant jack shit to Ella.
She had plans.
Big plans.
She corked the bottle and called, “Come get ’em, girls!”
“Thank goodness for men who chauffeur us around,” Presley said, entering the kitchen with bright red cheeks. “I would not be able to drive.”
“Me neither,” Kenzie muttered, scooping up her wineglass and then taking a big gulp.
Cora followed in behind and added, “I’m going to pay for this tomorrow at work, but who freaking cares?” She turned and headed into the living room, then dropped down on the big gray couch. “Besides, Aidan will treat me to one of his hangover cures anyway.”
Kenzie sat in the next to Cora, laughing. “You mean flogging you until you forget you’re hungover?”
“Exactly.” Cora smirked.
Laughter led Ella into the living room, and she sat next to Presley on the couch near the bay window. She scanned the room, a bit surprised by Kenzie’s apartment. She expected modern and hip, like Kenzie, but her house was warm and inviting, with antique
s in every bare spot.
Cora lowered her wineglass to her crossed legs and said to Kenzie, “Aidan told me about the arrangement between you and Porter.”
Kenzie studied Cora, oddly careful. She finally asked with a tight voice, “Are you okay about it?”
Confused, Ella looked between them. “Why would that upset Cora?”
Cora smiled softly. “Porter’s my ex-boyfriend.” To Kenzie, she said, “Of course I’m okay with it. We’ve always just been really good friends.” She raised her flashy wedding ring. “Besides, I’m a married woman now, and, honestly, I want Porter to be happy.” She hesitated, narrowing her eyes. “You’re not going to be your typical pain in the ass with him, are you?”
Kenzie grinned, unashamed. “Do you expect otherwise?”
“Nope,” Cora grumbled before she raised her brows. “I can tell you from knowing him so well that he’ll never let you get away with it.”
“Pfft,” Kenzie huffed, dismissing Cora with a flick of her hand. “I can handle the likes of Porter.”
“Sure you can,” Cora said and snickered into her wineglass. “Good luck with that.”
“Why don’t you be nice to him?” Presley interjected with a soft voice. “Porter’s a really cool guy. I don’t get why you want to be so difficult. Can’t you make your play fun—without the sassiness?”
Cora and Kenzie exchanged a look and then burst out laughing. Ella laughed, too, but she didn’t understand it, either. God, all she wanted to do was have kinky fun with Kyler—the sexual exploration she’d seen in Club Sin—and Kenzie seemed to only want to annoy her Doms.
Presley cocked her head and muttered, “I take that as a no?”
Kenzie shrugged. “It’s just not my way.”
Cora stayed silent, giving Presley a look, which told Ella there was a lot more going on with Kenzie. But Ella wasn’t about to go digging around in someone else’s life without their offering to discuss it. She had enough in her past than to judge someone else for what they did or didn’t do.