Risky Love Page 4

  When one lady placed her hand on Mia’s back and nudged her forward, Mia glanced to Rowan. He gave a firm nod. “I’ll come see you in a couple of days. I promise.” The facility wanted to have Mia for forty-eight hours without interruptions, probably to get her settled and trusting those around her.

  “Okay,” Mia said, her voice trembling.

  Rowan moved to her and dropped a kiss on her forehead, taking her into the warmth of his embrace that Alex knew well. A warmth that she suddenly realized was so important. For moments like these. Whenever someone needed love the most.

  Alex had a little of this with Ryder, but even him, she kept at a distance, she knew that. She never thought about how nice that was, or how safe it did make her feel to know someone had her back in quite that way. Until now.

  “Love you,” Mia said when she leaned away with tears in her eyes.

  “Love you too,” Rowan replied roughly, planting one final kiss on her forehead, and then he took a step back as the nurses surrounded her again.

  Love you…

  Alex had never said those words. Not even to Ryder. She’d always felt the closest to him, but she realized now, while they were close, they didn’t have this. This bond was something Ryder had with his wife. A level of closeness Alex didn’t understand or hadn’t had since Lena. A bond that made her want to crawl out of her skin and yet nearly yearn for too.

  While the nurses guided Mia away, leading her to the front doors, Luke reached into his pocket and pulled out a business card. “That’s my number there,” he said, offering the card to Rowan. “Text anytime you want an update on Mia. Nothing will happen to her while I’m here with her.”

  Rowan offered his hand. “Thank you.”

  Luke shook Rowan’s hand then gave Ryder a firm nod before following Mia into the building.

  “He’s retired Navy Seal,” Ryder said, following Luke with his gaze until glancing Rowan’s way. “There is no one I trust more than him with protective detail.”

  “I’m grateful to the both of you,” Rowan said, flicking the business card with his finger and shifting on his feet, looking one step away from going after Mia and staying with her. “Again, whatever you need from me, whenever you need it, I’m there.”

  Ryder acknowledged the promise with a flick of his chin.

  Alex knew none of this could be easy. She slid her arm around Rowan’s, and his intense gaze slid to hers. Something shifted in his expression, and it became examining and inquisitive. His knuckles brushed against her cheek, and Alex leaned into the touch, warmed by it.

  “Let’s get back to headquarters,” Ryder said quietly, obviously aware he was interrupting. “We need to continue to push ahead to keep the heat on Lewis.”

  “Sounds like a plan,” Alex said, watching Ryder turn away from them and head back toward his truck.

  She took a step to join him, when Rowan tugged her back into his arms. “What’s going on in that head of yours?” he asked with a graveled voice.

  Everything. “Catching Lewis.”

  He arched a disbelieving eyebrow at her. “Is that all?”

  A week ago, she would’ve shut her mouth and nodded and left it at that. But where had that gotten her? Lonely. She had no personal life to speak of, after spending years honing her craft, perfecting her skills to somehow make what happened to Lena right again. She was beginning to realize she wanted more. Needed more. She swallowed… “This is hard for me.”

  “What is?”

  “Admitting I need someone.” She regretted the words the moment they left her mouth for the way her throat closed up tight, her stomach roiling as sweat coated her flesh.

  Rowan watched her closely then pressed his lips against her mouth in a sweet, gentle kiss. “Almost ready for that talk, then?”

  The talk they should have had in Paris where they said how they felt and how they wanted each other. The talk that would change everything and make life very complicated, considering they lived in different states. The talk that would break barriers to her heart that had been built growing up with a junkie mother and an absent father. The scary realization that if she let anyone in, she could lose them again and have to endure the pain she went through with Lena.

  She drew in a long deep breath.

  Rowan’s mouth twitched. “Not quite yet, then.” His strong hand captured hers and then he led her to the truck, saying nothing more about it.

  Silently, they got into the truck and Ryder hit the road a moment later. No one spoke a word on the drive. The daunting task of what awaited them, the exhaustion of what they’d already been through to get where they were today, and the emotions playing on Alex’s heart were only muddling things up more.

  Within half an hour, Ryder was pulling into Blackwood Security headquarters, which was originally a chocolate factory. Once he parked in his usual parking spot, Alex exited the passenger seat. “I need a shower before we start.” Exhaustion weighed heavily on her eyelids, but more than anything, she felt grimy. Years of working cases had taught her to take care of herself in all this too. She was stronger and smarter when she was fed, showered, and rested. The latter definitely wasn’t up to par, but she needed to get things rolling. They still had another woman to find and a murderer to catch. She looked at Rowan and gestured to the far side of the factory. “Come on, I’m sure you could use one too.” She caught the slight heated flare in Rowan’s gaze before she said to Ryder, “We’ll be back in fifteen.”

  Ryder gave a firm nod. “I’ll get the team ready.”

  She headed around the parking lot, with Rowan at her side, and they entered the right side of the factory. She’d moved into the part of the factory that had once been where the offices were right after Ryder hired her on. Free rent, he’d said, not guessing she’d be thrilled to stay there. When she’d been on the streets to escape terrible foster homes after her mother died, she’d sleep near one of the churches that had a large porch that kept her safe from others. A priest had seen her there once, but he never asked her to leave. In fact, most nights, he brought her food. She wished he were still alive so she could thank him. But she loved this factory, from the old, worn hardwood floors, to the stone walls, and the huge open-concept space. She wasn’t sure she’d ever move, and Ryder never mentioned her leaving.

  “So, this is where you live,” Rowan commented, after she’d opened the door for him. He strode into the center of the room, obviously enjoying seeing the space that belonged to her. He scanned over the bed near the window and against the graffitied wall. When she moved in, Ryder said he’d bring in workers and they’d give her a proper apartment. Alex loved the place as it was, graffiti and all. Especially the graffiti; it kept her honest and reminded her where she’d come from. Rowan finally stopped looking around and glanced over his shoulder, his expression a puzzle that Alex couldn’t quite put together. “It suits you.”

  She smiled. “It’s home.” She set her laptop down on her kitchen table and felt the sudden tug to glance up. Rowan stood in the center of the room, his stare wholly locked onto hers. She felt the intensity surge between them, the heat swirling within until it landed firmly between her thighs, making her needy and desperate all at once. “We’ve got fifteen minutes, tops, and that includes washing ourselves,” she reminded him.

  “Then let’s not waste those minutes.” In a few long strides, he was there and had her in his arms, her taut breasts pressing against his hard chest. She wanted the weight of his body against her, the feel of his fullness inside her. “Where?” he asked against his mouth.

  “To my right.”

  He carried her through the open-concept factory floor into the small bathroom and set her down. This was the only room that had walls, but those were original and stone. The shower had been added later. She ripped at his clothing, and he ripped at hers until they were both naked. Only then did he turn on the shower and test the water before he pulled them both underneath the stream. His mouth was everywhere, as were his hands, until those purposeful fi
ngers moved to her nipple, pinching the bud. She arched her back into the pleasure. His tongue licked at the heat he’d created there and then moved lower as he stroked her bundle of nerves. She withered beneath him, loving that touch, and yet needed more still.

  This wasn’t about lovemaking. This was a release. A much-needed one that they wanted to find in each other.

  “Rowan,” she said, sliding her hands up his wet back, pulling him closer.

  He turned her around, pressing her against the cool, tiled wall, and then he entered her in one powerful stroke. God, she was ready. So ready for him as he began to move, and she moved with him. Every long and slow thrust made her more desperate to take all of him. Especially when he gathered her damp hair in his hands then turned her head to access her neck. She unabashedly widened her legs, wanting him deeper. As deep as he could go.

  She felt his restraint. The quiver of his body behind her. The control he desperately wanted to keep.

  “Take what you need,” she breathed, while the warm water rained down on them.

  And he did.

  Unleashed, he bit her neck, pulling a scream from deep in his throat as he pounded into her. She met him thrust for thrust. They moved together in sync, where everything made sense. And when his cock went rock hard, bringing tears of pleasure to her eyes, she screamed and fell over the edge, and he followed her.

  CHAPTER 6

  It had taken twenty minutes, instead of fifteen, for Rowan and Alex to walk into Blackwood Security’s command center, but Ryder never mentioned it, giving them a welcoming nod as they entered. If Rowan didn’t know better, he’d have thought he’d walked right into the CIA. Monitors lined the walls with chairs and desks set out in front. Alex took a seat at one of those desks, while a lean, baby-faced thirty-something guy sat in the desk next to her.

  “Hey, I’m Jeff, Alex’s assistant,” the guy said to Rowan.

  Alex barked a laugh, hooking up her laptop to the three monitors. “Please. What Jeff is, is a smart-ass.”

  “I learned from the very best,” he purred at her.

  Alex snorted at him then looked over her shoulder at Rowan and explained what he was obviously missing. “Jeff is the other hacker on the team that always goes with Ryder on scene.”

  “Our Alex here has got shaky knees when it comes to the dangerous stuff,” Jeff said, then swirled back to his monitor.

  Rowan hesitated at that, and Alex quickly looked away to her monitor, obviously aware of what Jeff’s statement suggested. Rowan hadn’t realized that she never went out on assignments with Ryder because she chose it that way. He simply assumed Ryder didn’t need her, but he did. A hot intensity rolled through Rowan that she’d done something for him that she didn’t do for anyone else.

  Ryder settled into place between the two of them. “Focus,” he reprimanded. “What have we got?”

  Rowan took the spot behind Alex, leaning against the table and folding his arms. He’d seen many teams work together, but there was a level of comfort in the room he hadn’t seen before. Maybe because Ryder himself had built his own team, and from what Rowan had seen, including what Ryder did for Mia, he was a wise and kind leader, and that had solidified strong relationships within his team.

  Rowan had always worked alone. Sometimes he was paired with another CIA agent, or in Alex’s case, a hacker, but otherwise, he only knew this type of closeness in the military. He missed that time in his life. That bond.

  Which only drew his eye to Alex. When Mia went missing, and the CIA refused to let Rowan join the case, Rowan began questioning his loyalty to the people who clearly did not have his back. Of course, he understood why. There was protocol, red tape, and everything in between, but Rowan realized after almost losing Mia, loyalty mattered. If he had anything, he thought he should have that.

  The only reason he had any involvement in Mia’s case was because Wes worked for the FBI and gave him access to his files. They both knew the risks, and Wes overlooked them. Now, after all that had happened, Rowan had a hard time wanting to remain loyal to an organization that refused to help him find his sister, giving the FBI full control. Which in turn gave a killer—or suspected killer at this point—an easy way to divert attention on the case, keeping himself above suspicion, and Mia in the grips of his sadistic whims.

  Rowan couldn’t forgive that. Not ever.

  “I’ve got a clone here,” Alex said to Jeff, dragging Rowan from his thoughts. She hooked up the hard drive to her laptop.

  “Lewis’s hard drive?” Jeff asked, then swirled in his swivel chair to face his line-up of monitors.

  “Not quite sure of that yet, but I suspect so,” Alex said, her fingers flying over the keyboard. “Let me just get us in there, and then we can have a look at what he’s got on here.”

  All three of her monitors were lit up, all running different programs as she typed code Rowan did not understand. He leaned in to have a closer look, when chuckling came around him.

  Alex’s hands froze, and she whirled around to him, a frown tugging on her lips. “What are you doing?”

  “Watching you.”

  “No.”

  Rowan arched an eyebrow. “No?”

  She didn’t even blink. “Hovering will only get you one thing.”

  “What’s that?” he asked, indulging her game.

  She grinned. “Throat punched, Hawke.”

  Rowan wisely leaned away. He knew a serious woman when he saw one. Her grin widened before she turned back to her monitors, typing again. Leaving her to it, Rowan sidled next to Ryder and watched them work. The food he’d eaten on the plane felt laden in his stomach. He both wanted to be with Mia, and wanted to hunt the killer and make the world safer. “I have no idea how you do this,” he said to Ryder.

  Ryder glanced sidelong. “Do what?”

  “Sit and wait while she works,” Rowan admitted, crossing his arms, feeling as impatient as he felt even before Mia was found. “I’m not used to waiting around for the answers I need.”

  Ryder chuckled and his attention shifted to Alex. “Years of working with her has helped me realize that she works far better alone, so I know better than to hover. She doesn’t like that.”

  Rowan snorted. “You should have warned me.”

  “And miss the enjoyment of seeing someone else on the receiving end of her sass? No, thank you.”

  Rowan laughed. He caught Alex and Jeff using technical language he didn’t understand, but he saw the flow between them. They worked well together, definitely complemented each other. He turned to Ryder again. “You’ve got quite the impressive set-up here.”

  “The team I’ve got is better than the set-up, believe me,” Ryder stated, but pride in his company and his group glowed in his stern eyes. He gave Rowan a long, curious look before he asked, “Have you ever worked in the private sector?”

  Rowan shook his head. “The CIA scouted me right after the military. You never went that route?”

  “Nah,” Ryder said without pause. “Too many politics. Not my style.”

  “I never understood that until Mia went missing.”

  Ryder didn’t respond, instead glancing back at Jeff’s monitor while he worked feverishly. Rowan didn’t elaborate more than he already had. His lines were blurred when it came to his loyalty to the CIA. Fuck, everything was blurred now. The day Mia went missing, every single thing in Rowan’s life changed. And then Alex came back into the picture, and the moment he placed his hands back on her body, his priorities shifted. She felt too good, too real.

  Nothing scared him now.

  Long minutes went by while Alex and Jeff continued to chat back and forth, their fingers banging against their keyboards. All they needed was one clue to break the case and expose Lewis for the animal he was.

  “Alex told me about you and your case in Paris,” Ryder eventually said, breaking the silence. Rowan looked at him, and he went on. “I’ve got a team in New York City, if you’re ever looking for a job.”

  Many things intere
sted Rowan about this statement. But most of all was that Alex had talked to Ryder about him. He was so close to sitting down and talking with her about what happened next for them. Rowan knew he couldn’t walk away so easily this time, but he also knew it wasn’t only his choice to stay. Alex’s past had created a stone wall around her heart that he wasn’t sure he could penetrate.

  When he parted his lips to respond to Ryder, Alex interjected, “Okay, I’m in. It’s definitely Lewis’s hard drive. He’s got personal files on here.” Rowan snapped his head her way as she told Jeff, “Breeze through those unsecured files and take these two secured files here.” She hit a few buttons on her keyboard then hit enter. “There are three other files here that are locked up tight that I’ll work on.”

  “On it.” Jeff started opening the documents of each file, scanning the contents on the hard drive. “Twenty bucks I get a hit first.”

  “I’ll take that bet.” Alex scooted her chair closer and flexed her fingers, and Rowan knew in the seconds that followed that she’d probably forget anyone was even around her, becoming focused on her work. She was digging as far as she could to find Lewis’s secrets. And she went deep, considering Rowan stared at the digital clock near the monitors on the wall watching the time slowly go by.

  When he got bored of that, he grabbed a coffee in the break room and made her one too. She didn’t even look up when he placed the mug next to her, but when he settled next to Ryder, who leaned against the table, one arm folded, the other holding his cell phone, she sipped her coffee.

  Rowan smiled. Maybe she wasn’t totally unaware to his being there.

  Another hour ticked by, and Rowan watched the numbers and code and brackets flash by him with absolutely no understanding of what Alex was doing. Christ, she amazed him. It occurred to him then, he wanted to know more about her, the little things no one knew.

  Ryder stiffened next to him, dragging Rowan out of his thoughts. He focused back on Alex, spotting the shift in her. She sat in a little closer to her monitor, her leg bouncing a mile a minute. He went to take a step forward. Ryder grabbed him and pulled him back, silently shaking his head.