Eternally Devoted (Frostbite #4) Page 5

  We had nothing. No spell to save Kipp. No magical answer that would fix everything. All we had was hope, and right now, I wasn’t sure that was enough anymore.

  With sadness tightening my chest, I asked for the only thing that could make me feel better now. Tears made Kipp blurry and I blinked them away, seeing a single tear trailing down his cheek. “Kiss me.”

  Without a moment’s hesitation, he sealed his lips over mine in soft passionate kiss that didn’t hold any of the heat our real first kiss had in the Netherworld. He offered his love for me in his gentle touch and I relished in the simplicity of it.

  Each brush of his lips over mine wasn’t to bring pleasure, but was to remind me that right here...right now…everything was all right. That touched by him didn’t bring pain or misery, and instead, meant home.

  In his arms, I’d always be safe and loved. Kipp, as always, was solid, the one piece to my crazy world that had never changed. He bulldozed his way into my life, stole my heart and he’d never let go. He’d always been the one thing that never faltered and he’d never wavered in his love for me.

  His kiss told me he never would.

  With his help, my back pressed against the ground, and it was soft beneath me. That told me one of us had changed the scenery in the Netherworld. Seeing that before the background had been an empty road, and now I suspected grass lay beneath us, that was the logical assumption.

  However, I didn’t look at our surroundings, because I didn’t care. The only thing that mattered was Kipp’s lips on mine. How he kissed me. How he stole the thoughts right out of my mind, as well as the worries. And how the moment became only about each other.

  He settled himself between my thighs and his hardened flesh suddenly nudged my moist center. I hadn’t known that either of us shed our clothing—in the Netherworld’s magical way—but I didn’t care.

  I needed Kipp.

  His warm body against mine saved me.

  I wrapped my legs around his hips, being as close to him as I could get, as his erection pressed harder against me and sought entry. He lowered the entire weight of his body against me and I needed him to blanket me, as if nothing could ever separate us.

  Tears burned my eyes as he thrust forward and stretched me. He filled me so deeply that it only made me cry harder. This, I craved with a desperation that was so raw and real. I wanted forever with Kipp. And the more we tried to achieve that, the more it seemed like an impossible want.

  When he slid into me fully I arched up into him, pressing more firmly against his kiss. I didn’t want soft and gentle. I wanted powerful. I wanted to feel Kipp firmly and all over my body. I wanted him to make me ache with the force of his body. I wanted not to be reminded gently of his touch, but to have it marked all over me.

  I wanted Kipp imprinted on my soul.

  Clearly hearing my needs, he broke the kiss and placed one of his hands around the back of head. He tangled his fingers into my hair and held me close to him. I gazed into the depths of his eyes and read Kipp’s pain. For the first time, I finally witnessed what maybe he preferred to keep hidden. The loss of control he suffered and the pain he endured.

  With each hard thrust, I read in the strain of his muscles that more than him being worried over his own life and what not being saved meant for him, Kipp hated that he hurt me. Which brought a harder sob from my mouth and he stole the sound with a soft kiss. As if to apologize that he’d come into my life. As if, to try and make it better.

  Nothing would ever make this better.

  Not until I had forever with him.

  Keeping his mouth pressed against mine, he pinned me to the ground by a hand on my hip. His thrusts came deeper and I arched up into each one. Every thrust he made reached into the very core of me and I needed him there. I needed to feel him inside me. I needed to believe, for this moment, that we could have this.

  That all of this was meant to be.

  His lips were everywhere, on my cheeks, my lips, my ear, my neck. His breath was heavy, and I loved hearing the sound that Kipp still lived. The knowledge that until his living body died we still had a chance filled me with hope, even if I noticed how weak my hope was now.

  Maybe that’s why he drove so deep into me and pumped his hips so hard against me. Perhaps that’s even why he pinned me as he did. To feel like he had some control in the midst of all this chaos.

  He pressed his body harder against me, caging me beneath him, and he rocked harder…faster. Our breaths synchronized as trickles of pleasure descended through my body, filling low in my belly and spreading warmth through my veins.

  Above me, Kipp drew his lip between his teeth, as he always did when he approached climax. The focused look on his face, the love I spotted there in his eyes as he nibbled his bottom lip, all made my inner muscles clamp tight against him.

  He groaned a low and masculine sound that had me vibrating. My fingernails dug into his arms, and he stared at me. He looked right through me, as if nothing else mattered to him but that he touched me now.

  His cock hardened inside of me and I wanted to shut my eyes with my building orgasm that curled my toes. Yet, nothing would break my connection to him. Nothing could come between this man, his love for me, and my love for him.

  My tears and sadness conflicted with the pleasure inside of me, and he must’ve experienced a similar surge of emotions, too, because his thrusts became frantic. His pelvis pounded hard against me. My muscles tightened and my warm arousal spread between us.

  After a round of primal thrusts bringing me to the brink of my climax, Kipp stilled. He lowered his face to mine, nose-to-nose. While his eyes were dark from his pleasure, the pain in his features was palpable when he whispered, “I love you, Tess.”

  My lip trembled, and tears spilled down my face. “I love you, too.”

  He slammed his hips forward and with one final thrust, I was crashing and tumbling, while he was jerking and bucking. I exploded, and I knew he joined me, in wave after wave of pleasure sending me to a place with Kipp I wished I could stay lost in forever.

  Chapter Seven

  Kipp and I remained a tangled web of sweaty limbs, deep breaths, and tears, until he finally leaned away. That’s when I noticed we were dressed in our clothes again, and I wasn’t sure why that happened. I would’ve preferred to stay naked. But his stare on me made the thoughts pass quickly through my mind as he brushed his thumb over my bottom lip. Sadness etched into his features.

  In this moment, I realized how unfair life was. All I did was help others find their personal peace so they could cross over, but the only thing I wanted remained impossible to obtain. “I can’t ever let you go.” I inhaled on a sob. “We can’t give up. We need to find a way to save you.”

  Another tear slid down Kipp’s cheek.

  Seeing him this way, not determined, but accepting that he might not be saved, made me cry harder.

  His eyelids lowered, mouth parted to no doubt voice a hard truth I didn’t want to accept, when a sweet, feminine voice interjected, “You want to be saved?”

  Kipp had me on my feet in split second. I jerked out of his hold and spun to face to the woman. I didn’t get far. Kipp jerked me in behind him, finally able to protect me. Tension spilled around us as Kipp blocked my view, and even the wind around us settled. I looked up to the starry sky and at least the backdrop around us hadn’t changed. Then I glanced at my feet and noticed it was the stinkin’ road again.

  Finally, after another long incredible few seconds, Kipp’s body went lax and he heaved a sigh. “Nettie.”

  “Nettie?” I gasped, peeking around his side to see if he was mistaken.

  He wasn’t.

  There, in front of us, only a few feet away, stood Nettie, looking exactly as the photo I’d seen in her diary. The woman who held the exact gifts I did, or so her diary had told me. She did, in fact, have blonde hair, which I couldn’t tell before since her photo had been black and white. Her clear blue eyes softened with her smile—also things I didn’t
see in the photo. Her appearance now, even though Kipp had seen her in the Netherworld before, stunned me.

  I moved from behind Kipp, but he immediately took my hand and tucked me into his side, meaning he didn’t trust Nettie’s arrival one bit. Perhaps we’d both become suspicious of anyone, and even more so, a ghost who lived in the Netherworld. Although, a sudden—horrifying—realization came to my mind. “Oh, my god, you weren’t watching us, were you?”

  Nettie’s warm smile never faltered. “Watching you talk to each other?”

  I looked at Kipp, and he shook his head, indicating that was a narrow escape. If Nettie had joined us minutes earlier, she would’ve gotten a show I doubted she wanted.

  More than relieved, I pushed the thoughts out of my mind as something else made me curious. Answers that would solve my worries about my travels to the Netherworld this woman possessed. “Why haven’t you crossed over?”

  She approached, her brown boots clicked against the pavement, as she glanced around. Maybe she admired the view. The softness in her features made me wonder if my backdrop was something she hadn’t seen in a while.

  For as long as she’d been in the Netherworld, which had been since the early nineteen hundreds, I wondered if maybe she forgot what the real world looked like. I also figured when most people traveled into the Netherworld to cross over, they would picture a place like Heaven, not something so dismal.

  The side of her mouth curved as she glanced up at the stars before she looked to me. “I didn’t want to leave.”

  She finally reached us, wearing a long black skirt with fancy white blouse, making her look ridiculously outdated compared to our relevant clothing. When I glanced away from her clothing, her smile remained. “So, you chose to stay?” Which, I had to admit, came as a huge relief, considering I wasn’t entirely sure I could go back into the real world. One less worry to think about now was a definite plus.

  Nettie nodded. “I’m the Netherworld’s guide.”

  That one statement registered like a good ‘ole smack upside the head. “That’s what you meant that you belonged in the Netherworld. It’s because you wanted to stay and help from here.” At her raised eyebrows, since I realized what I said, I instantly clarified with warm cheeks. “Err…I’ve read your diary.”

  Her eyes widened. “Have you?”

  I nodded, and shame coursed through me, causing my fingers to tighten around Kipp’s. “Sorry. I realize that was probably private for you and not something I should’ve read.”

  “It’s not that.” She shook her head slowly, sending her blonde hair to flutter over her shoulders with a little help from the breeze that returned. “I’m surprised it’s still around.”

  “Well, it’s part of history.” I shrugged, nibbling my lip, knowing that didn’t come out quite right. “Or ghost history, I should say.”

  Kipp squeezed my hand and when I looked to him, he smiled at me. I wrapped my other hand around his, loving just this—holding his hand and chatting with someone.

  So simple. So perfect.

  The twinkle in his eye told me he enjoyed it, too, and maybe that’s why he’d drawn my attention to it. While we hadn’t finished our conversation, perhaps the break helped, because right now we couldn’t do much about it.

  I’d never agree with Kipp’s view on it all. There would be no way in hell I’d ever stop looking for a way to help him. And if he tried to stop me, I’d magically find a way to ensure he couldn’t.

  Focusing on Nettie again, I noticed her fiddling with her long skirt, and moving her hips slightly as if she enjoyed the wind. “Your diary is in a safe place, though. Not for public reading or anything.”

  “That’s nice to hear.” She laughed, dropped her skirt, and clasped her hands in front of her. “As to your question, yes, when I chose to stay in the Netherworld, my living body died and I’ve remained here ever since.” Her smile faded, and as she looked at Kipp, her blue eyes sharpened. “So, did I hear that you want to be saved?”

  Her firm expression made my heart skip a beat. Kipp’s fingers clamped against mine. Oh yeah, it appeared I wasn’t the only one who had the feeling Nettie wasn’t blind to Kipp’s situation.

  When Kipp remained silent, I obviously wasn’t nearly as stunned speechless, since I blurted out, “Do you know he’s not dead?”

  Nettie’s chin dipped low as her gaze traveled over Kipp in a slow sweep before she turned to me and nodded. “Yes, I can tell.”

  Kipp frowned at her before he glanced down at me with a perplexed look. I nodded agreement. I wondered what Nettie could see that I couldn’t. We had the same abilities, that much I did know, but I couldn’t tell that Kipp wasn’t dead.

  Well, actually, that wasn’t entirely true. I could tell when I first met Kipp that he was different from other ghosts, but I hadn’t pieced it all together until I saw his comatose body. I wondered if Nettie had met someone like him before. “How can you tell?”

  Her gaze skipped from me to Kipp, and yet again, she gave a soft smile. “Simple. I can’t help you cross over.”

  I did a double take, looking between Nettie and the confused Kipp, as the dark night spun around me. I finally ended up blinking frantically to gather my wits. What she stated made no sense at all. “But you helped him when he first came into the Netherworld?”

  She agreed with a slow nod. “I did what I could to assist him. He seemed so lost. I tried to help him understand where he was. But I couldn’t do anything more, which is why I knew he was different than the others.”

  Kipp’s fingers squeezed mine so tight. When I glanced up at him, seeing the stars over his head twinkling, he arched an eyebrow at Nettie. “Why didn’t you tell me that when we first met?”

  “You seemed to be dealing with enough,” Nettie said, sheepishly, and she shifted uneasily on her feet. “I didn’t want to overwhelm you.”

  I snorted at that ridiculous notion. “We were overwhelmed months ago. I doubt anything you said would’ve made him more confused.” The wind breezed around me again, fluttering my hair over my face and bringing a big whiff of earthy scents with it.

  After I tucked my hair behind my ear, I regarded Nettie and noted the slight sparkle in her eyes. I had a good sense this woman knew more than she was telling us, because why else would she be asking if Kipp wanted to be saved? As much as I wanted to let hope drift up, I stuffed it down. I couldn’t be crushed again. “So, why are you here now?”

  Nettie paused, her stare fixated on Kipp as her eyebrows furrowed. The streetlight just off to our right started to flicker and part of me wondered if the cause was my irritation and impatience. Then her hard study turned to me. “I sense a connection with you I don’t feel with the others who journey here.”

  Now I hesitated, not sure why she brought that up now. It had nothing to do with Kipp. “Well, that’s because we share the same gifts.” We were way off topic and the last thing I wanted to do was talk about me. “But that’s beside the point, why did you come to see us?”

  She sighed, glancing down at the pavement. “I know what you’re asking me, without really asking me.” Her head lifted. “The answer to help Kipp is entirely simple.”

  I rolled my eyes out of sheer frustration. “Of course it is.”

  Her lips twitched. “Think of yourself.” She cocked her head, her amusement fading. “You’re bound to the mystical world. Meaning, you hold power here.” She waved her hands around, gesturing to my pretty, but eerie backdrop. “Do you not remember why you have the gifts you do? The choice you made that gave you such power?”

  I stared at her, trying to read what she was telling me and not telling me. First, why wasn’t she outright explaining how to fix Kipp? By all appearances, she knew how to fix him.

  Second, she spoke as if she believed without a doubt that I had full understanding of my gifts. That she knew how I obtained my abilities, which was odd. But I wondered if she simply related it to how she received her own abilities.

  From what Dane had told me,
I gained my gifts because I had chosen to die when I came into the Netherworld. Then I had been brought back to life in that exact moment. I had wanted to cross over—which I still didn’t believe—but the choice was stripped from me and with that, I attached myself to the Netherworld.

  So, I had made the choice to do that.

  As I regarded Nettie, with the dark night behind her, and the breeze brushing across my skin, her stare never wavered, firm and direct. Kipp squeezed my hand, capturing my attention. He watched me curiously with an arched brow, his piercing eyes searching mine.

  I shook my head slowly at him, trying to understand, but my racing mind couldn’t piece it all together. Deep in my soul, an odd rush of excitement fluttered and time slowed.

  A choice?

  I had made the choice to attach myself to the Netherworld. Without coming here, I never would have received the gifts I hold. I hadn’t been born with them. I had obtained them after the car accident.

  The Netherworld was what changed my life.

  If I hadn’t wanted to stay in the mystical world and cross over, I would’ve been the same ‘ole normal me as before the accident. But I had accepted my death, even if I’d been saved before I could cross over. Therefore, I became bound to the Netherworld.

  In the Netherworld, I held the power to make a choice that huge, and that made something supernatural happen in the real world. If I had accepted my death anywhere but here, nothing would happen. But standing in the mystical world—the place between here and beyond—was exactly where magical things happened. I took the Netherworld with me, because I had accepted it into my soul.

  I had made the choice.

  With that simple understanding of how it all worked and why, I gasped and snapped my head toward Nettie. Her eyes all but sparkled as she inclined her head. In outright urgency and tears flooding my eyes, I dropped Kipp’s hand. I stood on my tiptoes and grasped his face. “Do you want to live again?”

  Both eyebrows rose in surprise. “You know I do.”